Laughter is good medicine for the soul!
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10 Things You Never Hear in Church :
1. Hey! It's MY turn to sit on the front pew!
2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went over time 25 minutes.
3. Personally, I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.
4. I've decided to give our church the $500.00 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.
5. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.
6. Forget the denominational minimum salary: let's pay our pastor so s/he can live like we do.
7. I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!
8. Since we're all here, let's start the worship service early!
9. Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.
10. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!
Locked out
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told
the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the
driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle
and discovered that it was unlocked.
"Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!"
To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."
Downsizing
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to
"downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often."
Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.